Well, there's no easy way to say this....
The last few weeks of April were full of anxiety! Thankfully we had Langston's birthday to celebrate and party to plan to keep my mind pre-occupied! Jeremy said he knew what was coming.....I even fielded random questions at Langston's party.
The day after that party Jeremy and I got the answer we had been waiting a few weeks for....
We are having another BABY!!!!
We had to take two tests because the first test showed some picture that meant (according to the symbol guide that comes in the box) there had been some user error....REALLY?!
But, the second test was used correctly and popped up with the words....PREGNANT....with shaking hands I brought it to Jeremy to see. His reaction was much better than mine! He sat straight up and took my hands in his. I think he would have been smiling if it weren't for my reaction.
I will be honest. I immediately broke down into tears. I could not believe we let this happen so soon! I mean, I wanted more kids, but Langston was barely a year old! My mind was racing. How was I going to take care of two little ones? How am I going to survive potty training and up all night feedings? We aren't financially prepared, are we? I'm not in as good of shape as I was before Langston.
Because of my state of mind, Jeremy suggested I go ahead and call my mom. Well, I didn't want to tell my mom without my dad, so we got them on a conference call. They, of course, were so excited and were able to calm some of my fears. Later we talked to Jeremy's parents and they were shocked but excited as well!
I went to the Doctor the next day to only do a pregnancy test there. They said I was, but it was very early. So, we decided that until the ultrasound we would only tell a select group of family and friends. Well, our ultrasound isn't until June 3rd, but I just couldn't wait! I'm around 6 weeks now and due the first part of January!
I've done a lot of thinking and praying and dealing with the fact that I'm pregnant again. First, and foremost, I no doubt see a new baby and addition to our family as a blessing! So many others in the world would love to be parents, and I'm not going to complain about having a second child! Physically, I'm not scared or as nervous as with Langston. I know what to expect and I know that I can handle it! Granted, I didn't have a toddler to chase after before, but I will turn that "have to" switch! Financially, well, God will provide what we need. Emotionally, I still don't know how I can show my love for two small children equally. However, I have seen my mother and my friends do it, so I know I can too. I will just have to figure out a balance. I have thought how this new child is coming into an already "settled" family unit. It's been just Langston and us for a while now and we have a routine. (Interesting fact: this next child will come into a house of all "first borns.")
I've been reading a lot about the "2nd child" and behaviors and feelings they sometimes go through. Hopefully, being aware of some of those things will make me be a better mother to the new baby. He/she will never enjoy being the only child and having the undivided attention of the parents. He/she will always have to share with the big brother. He/she may be compared to the older brother because that's who people knew first. The only way I can prepare is to make it my intention to spend one on one time with the new baby/toddler/child/teenager and him/her have "dates" with mommy and with daddy. To take the time out of my day to read or talk to each one separately. To treat each child as each of their personalities require. I have to remind myself that what works for one may not work for another!
I believe Langston will make a fantastic big brother and friend! His personality already shows traits of kindness and compassion and tenderness!
Please pray for our family as the journey continues! Please pray for the pregnancy and the health of this precious soul! We will be anxiously awaiting meeting our new little one in January!
